Written by FUNN LIM

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SPOILERS ... SPOILERS ... SPOILERS

14 July, 2008

EPISODES 9 & 10



And the snooze fest continues as we get introduced to his would be wives, one per episode if the trend continues.

So who he saw which shocked him into speechlessness? Would be wife no. 1, Mu who now stunned him with her ermm acupuncture skill? Anyway he got stilled, she sat him down and whilst he couldn't speak or so we thought, she said "You can speak you know" and she explained that stun thing to her was automatic release after a few hours. So he looked sheepishly and tried to charm his way out of trouble by first threatening her as in her scar on her face won't get better without his help, etc but the girl, whilst naive wasn't exactly stupid. Her face was still half covered with those unknow grime he put on her and as she wiped them off very very slowly, she did mention she knew there wasn't any scar since she checked. He asked why she didn't leave when she could and she shyly explained "I couldn't just leave, you said you were looking for pearls for me, I had to at least say thank you and good bye" and in that small moment of time, he actually was quite touched by her naiveness. But like I said, she wasn't stypid. So he used the next tactic; he said she got the wrong spot as in those "dim yuet" thing and he began to pretend to choke and die and of course silly girl, although not stupid but is silly naive, fell for it and released him. And when she knew it was a trick, he scared her by telling her some ghost story and that silly naive girl fell for it and ran, crawled around in total fear. And suddenly a gust of wind blew the candle and this time WXB was scared as he cried "ghost!!" and told the girl to shut up.

Pause here. This scene was much much longer than I described with their banter and her wiping off the grime taking forever. And you should see how she wipe the grime; no human will do it the way she did. She was forever wiping the grime using the same corner of the miraculously never-got-dirty-hanky and it was really really annoying. And that ghost thing, I was like oh please can we get on with the story? So I shall not torture like I was tortured and we shall move on, like NOW.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew open the doors to WXB's house (compound? room? too big so I shall call it a house) and it was the Empress dowager, in her nightgown and hair down and looking for WXB. She strangled him but then she heard some noises and she left. As she left, she encountered palace guards, fought with them and flew off. A bunch of assassins were in the palaca causing the commotion and they were fighting furiously with the guards at WXB's compound and he saw it all.

Pause here.

I still don't get why the Empress Dowager suddenly appear. Why she suddenly wanted him dead. Why suddenly she appeared in his room looking disheveled? I was so confused and until now I still don't get it.

Anyway the fighting went on and Mu was hiding with WXB when Mu heard a voice she recognised. It was her big sister (as in sworn sister) Fang Yi and she was very badly injured and was sitting down in pain as the palace guards were somewhere else fighting her people. Mu begged WXB to help her but WXB refused until Mu calls him "Dearest Husband" but she settled for "Dearest boyfriend" (look, he wanted her call him Hao Ge Ge which direcntly translates as good brother but in that context dearest boyfriend is more appropriate) but again longest scene ever, Fang Yi refused his help and stubbornly sat there and WXB offended that at least one woman refused his help insisted on helping her and so carried her off to his bed. And suddenly one dying guard held his leg and said "Assassin Eunuch Kwei, assassin" and WXB just stabbed that poor guard to death. No remorse. She was so injured Mu was panicking as she said "Dearest boyfriend, please please save my sworn sister. She is the nicest to me, she is the gentlest, please" but that woman had an attitude problem that WXB commented on and Mu said "No no she is actually very gentle, if you talk gently to her, she will be gentle" and then Fang Yi cried in pain and so WXB ran to get that grime paste he made earlier since he too was kinda panicking and tore off her top despite her refusal and applied that paste on her right upper shoulder near her right chest with his hands and he was relishing the massaging action in fact and the poor girl had to withstand being molested by thus unknown eunuch.

Yes, molested.

She calmed down a bit and again and again WXB was called out by the guards passing by. He charmed them all and so they went away.

Meanwhile the Empress Dowager wanted to see WXB but he knew she was up to no good. So the Empress Dowager sent her goon to see him and to kill him and not to listen to his words and just kill him, lay him next to the assassins and she will do the rest so that it won't arouse the emperor's suspiscion. And of all the men she can send, she sent a total idiot. WXB had no problems confusing him about his purpose, so much so out of frustration that man rushed into the house and tried to kill him. And of all the men she can send, she sent on that WXB had no problem fighting so you can guess how useless this killer was. In the end whilst WXB was injured by this guy, he had no problem stabbing that idiot to death. He hid his body under the bed. By the way I can't remember how but Mu sprained her ankle which WXB quickly rushed off to find medicine from the palace doctor pretending to have sprained his waist whilst fighting the assassins. Mu was of course very touched by his gesture.

After some time, there was a knock on the door and a few eunuchs were out there saying the Emperor wanted to see WXB dead at night. WXB was obliged to go and then he realised he was tricked since the emperor hardly sees him at such hour and the eunuchs failed to salute him as any eunuchs will with his high stature and all. And he was led to the Empress Dowager's chambers which was all wrong for him so when he found a way, he sneaked away only to bum into the Empress Dowager who held him by his neck and asking him why was he avoiding her. And then they had a long conversation which I can't understand but I have a feeling it is about her fear that the emperor might know of her secrets and WXB telling him or something like that. If you know you fill me in. Anyway he tricked his way out of trouble but she did injured him enough so that he was puking blood whenhe got back to his room, and Mu was very concerned. He was also concerned she would find out about the dead stupid henchman and so he used that acid powder and destroyed all evidence. By this time Fang Yi and Mu formerly introduced their names to WXB whom they only know as Eunuch Kwei and then Fang Yi was nice enough to thank him for killing that henchman who just a few hours ago killed I think 3 of her people. She then asked if he knew anything about a particular guy who came in with her and Mu explained that was her special someone. He was reluctant to ask but agreed he would if he had the opportunity.

Next scene we see two rebels half submerged and hands tied up and screaming as the guards above walked back and forth. So I assume that was her special someone.

Somewhere along the way WXB was asked to see the wine delivery man (who is from HES) and he had to attend a secret meeting and something was discussed. The exact nature I can't remember.

WXB went to see the emperor who playfull congratulated him on another job well done. The emperor heard how he killed a few of the assassins himself. He asked WXB to describe the kung fu of the assassin which WXB did and the emperor was happy with his own conclusion although WXB didn't know what he meant.2 old minister walked in and presented the emperor with a full bag of weapons and their investigation concluded that the assassins were sent by Wu Sangui. WXB remained quiet. The emperor smiled and disagreed with them. He explained "They are not Wu Sangui's men. Wu Sangui would not have sent assassins with weapons so openly bearing the enblem and crest of his name. It is far too obvious. Moreover with Wu Yingxiong, his son in town, he would never so openly jeapordise his son's own safety by sending assassins to kill me. I can only conclude they were sent by some other group and not Wu Sangui".

WXB was impressed and so were the ministers who felt they were really stupid. So they pledged to investigate from this new angle. When they left, suddenly the emperor playfully asked WXB; "Xiao Gwei Tzi, do you want to earn some big money?" and WXB was curious and said why not. So the emperor explained "Take that bag of weapons to Wu Yingxiong and you will earn a lot of money" and WXb knew what the emperor meant and so he left. Before he did he visited the two women in his room and in fact kissed them on the cheeks twice each as he jumped off the bed and left. The girls were stunned but didn't do anything else other than being stunned.

So off he went to Wu Yingxiong's place. Very busy man. By the time he arrived Wu Yingxiong heard of news of assassins pretending to be from the Wu clan and he didn't panic since he knew they didn't send anyone. But WXB came with an entourage of eunuchs, placed the bag of weapons on him and Wu Yingxiong panicked.

Pause here.

I think Wu Yingxiong pretended to panicked. Somehow I see this young turtle as WXB calls him as rather cunning even if he looked or behaved like a drug addict.

Anyway Wu Yingxiong panicked and down on his knees begging for mercy since he said he didn't do what they accused him of. WXB explained the emperor wasn't too pleased but WXB can relate to the emperor the truth of the matter. Wu Yingxiong took the bait and offered an envelope of cash to WXB which he took and said not to worry, he will handle the emperor. WXB bade farewell and Wu Yingxiong said to his assistant "There is nothing to worry. See how 100 thousand can solve the problem?"

And WXB discovered he was just given 100 thousand in bank drafts!! He was like "Wow, this is a lot!" and he took half for himself and reported back to the empror with 50 thousand in hand. The Emperor was very pleased and told WXB to take 10 thousand and to give the rest to the guards, as a thank you gift from Wu Yingxiong. But WXB said "But your majesty, why let him take the credit? Why not just say it is a bonus from your majesty for a job well done?" and the emperor agreed and WXB said " I shall refuse my share of the money, I would like to give it all to the guards" and the emperor was so moved by his gesture that he thought to himself "Xiao Kwei Tzi is such an honest person". Well honest my foot.

Anyway WXB gave the 50 thousand to the chief guard and the chief guard was very happy but in turn he offered it to WXB as a thank you gift. WXB pretended to look offended and insisted the chief guard divide it to the men, more for the injured I think and the chief guard was very pleased by WXB's gallant gesture. Then WXB asked about one assassin that Fang Yi was asking about and the chief guard said "The assassins did not use their real names but do not worry sir, I will find out for you" and so WXB left, leaving a great impression on the chief guard.

I think the episode 10 ended there. I suppose we shall see the 3rd woman next episode.

Anyway with my poor limited Chinese I was frankly very confused why the empress dowager did what she did and all that conversation between stupid henchman and WXB. And I was confused why the assassins came into the palace if they didn't even know Mu was kidnapped in the first place and then I realised that was because they were trying to cause discord between Wu Sangui and the Emperor. You must understand there were a few groups who wanted to topple the emperor from what I remember. HES wants to topple the Qing and bring back the Ming. Mu belongs to the Taiwan gang I think that claims own lineage to the throne and in the end HES and Mu will fight as to who shall be emperor but later would work together to topple the emperor. Then later on there will be Princess Cheung Ping, now a one armed nun who will want to kill the emperor for personal reasons and she could lay claim to the throne. Then there was Wu Sangui, the former general for the Ming who betrayed the Ming to let the Qing in. But now Wu Sangui is a very powerful overlord of whatever his region may be and whilst Wu Sangui did not quite dare to topple the emperor yet, but he is thinking of it since the emperor is so young and vulnerable. But Wu Sangui wouldn't do it when his son is in town. Later on Wu Sangui will go all out against the emperor. Then I think there was the Russians and that small sect that the Empress Dowager belongs to.

And everybody wants the books of 42 scriptures because the books contain the secret to where the hidden treasures are situated and with so much treasure means all parties concerned have unlimited financial backing to do what they want to do; that is to fight the obviously much affluent Qing Empire and the emperor could do well with the money as well.

See the big picture?

Problem is when it comes to small picture I just can't understand what is going on.

Performance wise I kinda miss the guy who played that scary eunuch, Hai Da Fu. Is he really really dead?

Of all the performances in these 2 episodes I was most impressed with the guy who plays Wu Yingxiong. He just fit the character to perfection; the drug addict persona aside, he just gives me the impression he is pretending to be such a small turtle when in fact he is like the crouching tiger and his dad that we have yet to see the hidden dragon. A formidable force.

As for the 2 girls, well one suitably naive and the other suitably temperamental. But is Fang Yi supposed to be much older than WXB? Because the actress looks too mature and frankly I don't think any of the 7 wives were well cast at all. Of the 2, I suppose I dislike Mu the least. Performance wise no comment. The voice dubbing is annoying though.

Wallace Chung has very little role in these 2 episodes and frankly I missed him. I love his scenes with HXM simply because I find the wives unbearable. Why can't WXB MARRY the emperor? Then I would be the happiest since I don't need to see any of his whiny wives. They're best friends of course and I find it quite funny the emperor thought of him as honest. Wallace improved a little, no longer wooden since he didn't have any emotional scenes. He is at his best when he is most relaxed and I like his playful banter and the way he looked at his friend. In front of others he is stern but fair but before WXB he is playful and fair, acting his age I suppose. But I still can't quite see the kingliness in Wallace. Maybe as the series progress we will see that in him.

HXM. What to say? He tried his damnest best to be the playful, cocky, ruthless scroundrel that is WXB. I know there are a lot of criticisms that said he is far too good looking that people tend to forget the scroundrel part of him. I kinda agree because frankly can't good looking people be scroundrel? Of course. I think so far without taking into account those sudden burst of overacting, HXM was bearable mainly because the story didn't go from one sudden high to one sudden low and nothing in the middle. It is basically quite still throughout and the drama as in suspense evenly paced even if I can't understand some of it.

I still miss the boys though. And frankly I am not impressed with any of the 7 wives, picture wise. I just find them too what's the word that those gossip columns always use? Skanky? It just feels that way. The series got it right though with the casting of certains actors for the smaller roles.

Cinematography wise still excellent but less about the palace but more about rooms. Costume, especially whatever Wallace is wearing is great stuff. You can see the budget in the costumes.

Overall a lot of things happen in these 2 episodes but still I felt this certain emptiness that I just can't explain. I just feel the best of this series has already past by and the idea of 40 episodes more is just becoming unbearable to me. Hopefully something drama worthy happens sometime soon.


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